Connection Before Correction
There’s a moment in every mom’s journey when the urge to fix collides with the deeper need to connect.
As a mom of four daughters for over 23 years, I’ve learned that one of the most powerful parenting shifts isn’t about discipline strategies or perfect routines—it’s about choosing relationship first.
In this very first episode of The Girl Mom Life Podcast, I share the foundational phrase that has shaped my parenting: connection before correction.
Why Connection Comes First
Motherhood is full of moments when our kids make mistakes, test limits, or simply do things that feel messy and inconvenient. Our instinct is often to correct immediately.
But when we pause and connect—when we see the heart behind the behavior—we open the door for trust, understanding, and growth.
A Toddler and a Sink Full of Water
Picture this:
- A toddler in diapers.
- A three-year-old dragging a chair to the sink.
- A five- and nine-year-old playing outside on the farm.
I walked in to find my three-year-old filling cups of water at the sink. My first reaction? Frustration at the inevitable mess.
But God whispered: “Just connect.”
Instead of scolding, I asked, “Hey babe, what are you doing?”
Her answer? She was filling cups to take water to her sisters—serving them in her own way. Acts of service is her love language, and that small moment of connection changed everything.
The mess was still there, yes. But we cleaned it up together, and her heart was seen and honored.
Fast Forward to the Teenage Years
Years later, the same daughter called from the store. When she said, “I’m scared of men,” I instinctively shut her down. My oldest overheard and gently reflected back:
“Mom, you didn’t connect. You shut her down, and that closed the door to conversation.”
That wisdom stopped me in my tracks. She was right. I had corrected without connection.
So, I apologized. And in that apology, the connection was restored.
The Lesson
Connection before correction doesn’t mean ignoring boundaries. It means choosing to see your child’s perspective first. When you do, correction becomes partnership—not punishment.
And when you miss it? Grace and apology can rebuild the bridge.
This phrase has been a cornerstone in my parenting journey—and one I keep learning, over and over again.
What’s Next
This is just the beginning. Over the next nine episodes, I’ll be sharing the other life-giving lessons God has taught me—simple phrases that have shaped how I mother, love, and lead my daughters.
Mama, I hope this one inspires you to pause, connect, and let your relationship lead the way.
Ready to Go Deeper?
Transparency Note: This blog post was lovingly crafted with support from my AI writing partner—because even coaches need a strategic thinking buddy! All coaching insights and stories are my own.
